<!--
var actionArray = new Array("shove", "stick", "force", "ram", "budge", "place", "hammer", "push", "drive", "thrust");
var objectArray = new Array("a cactus", "a cucumber", "a banana", "an amusingly-shaped turnip", "a small bust of Horatio Nelson", "a rusty bath tap", "a thingy", "a coat hanger", "the right hand of Jeremy Beadle", "the Eiffel Tower", "the BT Tower", "your foot", "a shovel", "a grapefruit", "a great big watermelon", "Barry Manilow", "a kipper", "a giraffe", "a tube of toothpaste", "a hedgehog", "your dad's nads", "a truncheon", "a sherbet lemon", "a copy of the Sunday Times", "Belgium", "a scotch egg", "a courgette", "a teapot", "a tin of pilchards", "a spitfire");
var orificeArray = new Array("in your left ear", "in your right ear", "up your left nostril", "up your right nostril", "in your mouth", "in your eye", "up your arse", "up your mimsy", "up your flangehole", "up your turdchute", "in your minge", "up your urethra", "down your throat", "in your left eye", "in your right eye");
var swearArray = new Array("piss", "twunt", "arse", "flange", "bum", "ham", "spaz", "ball", "Joey", "knacker", "bollock", "poo", "tit", "dick", "cunty");
var partArray = new Array("monkey", "pancake", "eyebrow", "chinned yokel", "toe", "finger", "tooth", "lip", "salad", "flap", "spanner", "spacker", "weasel", "squirrel", "tractor", "hammer", "tweaker", "lifter", "handle", "greaser", "shoulder", "toucher", "blossom", "jumper");

var c1
var c2
var c3
var c4
var c5

var commaSays

function startUp() {
createRands();
setWords();
document.getElementById("comma").innerHTML = commaSays;
}

function createRands() {
c1 = Math.round(Math.random()*(actionArray.length - 1));
c2 = Math.round(Math.random()*(objectArray.length - 1));
c3 = Math.round(Math.random()*(orificeArray.length - 1));
c4 = Math.round(Math.random()*(swearArray.length - 1));
c5 = Math.round(Math.random()*(partArray.length - 1));
}

function setWords() {
commaSays = "Go and " + actionArray[c1] + " " + objectArray[c2] + " " + orificeArray[c3] + ", you " + swearArray[c4] + partArray[c5] + ".";
}

// -->